Every once in a while, a photo surfaces on the Internet that's absolutely begging for a series of hilarious captions, and this is definitely one of them.
The dogs in the now-viral photo are Hortaya Borzayas—an ancient Asian sighthound breed that's characterized by excellent hunting skills and a calm, noble demeanor. But the fact that they're standing on a snow-laden slope and wearing sleek, matching turtlenecks is really what make these already regal hounds look like they're telling one another that Aspen is really not what is used to be.
Their names are definitely Todd and Margo.
Why is the carpet wet TODD?!
—I don't KNOW, MARGO!— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) December 23, 2018
They haven't even ordered their coffee yet but they already know they're going to need to ask to speak to the manager.
These dogs are watching the barista make their pumpkin spice lattes intently. They'll want to speak to a manager soon.
— Tweetgood Mac (@SnottieDrippen) December 22, 2018
They come to soccer matches just to judge the other moms.
These dogs look like the two soccer moms that judge other moms at every event regardless of if their kid is there or not.
— Madilyn Carothers (@MadilynRenee) December 22, 2018
They only drink Diet Coke and probably have matching white robes that say "Rosé All Day."
"Mostly we don't eat, smoke cigarettes and get designers to send us free stuff."
"I love free stuff."
"Me too."
"I'm hungry, pass me the Diet Coke."— Molly Jong-Fast (@MollyJongFast) December 23, 2018
They knew that trust fund was going to go to waste on the third son.
"We're not disappointed, son, but we just don't consider Dartmouth to be a real Ivy."
— FOIA Gras (@von_owie) December 22, 2018
And they're starring in a dog-only version of Big Little Lies.
big little lies (2017)
— insane (@deIuge) December 23, 2018
Though, despite the amazing crop of one-liners, novelist and Entertainment Weekly writer Dana Schwartz may have nailed the caption contest when she identified them as "the villains in a movie where a golden retriever wins a snowboarding tournament" because they're basically the Winklevoss twins in The Social Network.
These dogs are the villains in a movie where a golden retriever wins a snowboarding tournament
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) December 22, 2018
They would also not be at all out of place in a Bond movie.
We've been expecting you, Mr. Bond.
— Do They Know It's Bevmas 🎄 (@blade_funner) December 23, 2018
If you haven't already, please note the dog in the background who looks like he is their dog.
Did anyone notice the 3rd dog…
— Dylan Park (@DylanP2313) December 23, 2018
"Gerard, get back here. Honestly, I'm not sure that obedience boarding school in Switzerland did him any good."
Why does the smaller dog look like he's their dog
— Loosey Liu (@CHVNNYBEE) December 22, 2018
And if you're starting to feel bad about making fun of them, don't worry. Schwartz received an email from the dogs, whose real names are Adiza and Bani and who live in Norway, saying they are "proud but cool about their instant fame."
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!!!!!!!
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) December 25, 2018
I mean, it's only natural that everyone would be obsessed with them. Their butler agrees.
And to read about other dogs with big personalities, check out these hilarious stories that people shared about their "jerk" pets.
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Diana Bruk Diana is a senior editor who writes about sex and relationships, modern dating trends, and health and wellness.Read moreFiled UnderAnimals • Humor • PetsRead This Next15 Reasons Cats Are Way Better Than Dogs
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